Well, that’s it for another Australian election. A Labor landslide and thank goodness. In an age where everything from a parcel delivery to a supermarket trip is followed by a request to rate the experience, a general election is a rating extravaganza par excellence. Every citizen of this country is legally obliged to vote. And while Labor might have got a full 5 stars for winning, of course there’s room for improvement. I’m hopeful.
Aside from elections, this rating malarkey is out of control. At the beginning of the year I had a new fridge delivered that conked out after two days. It wasn’t a replacement for our main fridge, thankfully, so I was relaxed about getting it sorted. At first, anyway. The retailer advised me to contact the manufacturer as it would be quicker. Well, it wasn’t. Kafkaesque, in fact, with endless calls, horrible hold music and ‘you need the fridge department but they’re not open now’ and so on. After one wearying conversation with a terse operator on the manufacturer’s ‘helpline’ I was asked to give feedback in an email that would follow. ‘I’d appreciate five stars,’ the operator told me, rather darkly. Given the situation wasn’t cleared up because the call-out electrician was yet to come, I ignored the request when it came through. And I’m glad I did because the situation wasn’t sorted at all, with an electrician who took two goes to come out and didn’t know what to do when he did eventually arrive. After a month of false-starts and follow-up calls, I went back to the online retailer of the fridge, who I’ve bought loads of things from in the past, and told them how frustrated I was. The matter was cleared up in a trice and a replacement fridge was delivered the next day, along with profuse apologies for all the problems I’d had with the manufacturer (LG, to name and shame). Grateful, I volunteered a glowing review to the retailer’s site and I will continue to buy things from them (Appliances Online, thank you).
Similarly, when I ordered some car mats online and the driver’s side kept sliding around, I contacted the seller and they sent out a new pair of mats immediately with a slightly different clip for the carpet. Five stars to you, Rubber Tree. And so it goes.
You might say I’m a man with too much time on his hands if I can be bothered with all this. So it was interesting to me that when we stayed in a guest house on our way home from Sydney recently, I found myself wondering about ratings. We’d stayed there before and enjoyed the charming old house and its lovely grounds and its good restaurant. The staff are friendly, the bedrooms are spacious, it’s all very appealing. And yet there were issues. It was mainly superficial, like dining room chairs that were surely the most uncomfortable they could find (too low, too hard and too upright) to the ghastly artwork on the walls, the fake flowers and the cheap trinkets cluttering the lovely Arts and Crafts window sills. The beds are comfortable but the bathroom blind was caked in dust. As I sat waiting ages for a pre-ordered breakfast to appear, sipping my tea from a too-tiny teapot, I thought of that British TV programme, The Hotel Inspector, where hotelier Alex Polizzi goes in and sorts out a failing business. This place needed sorted out, not just by an interior designer with taste but with training staff in the small things, like providing a fresh glass for a change of wine, and a side plate and knife at breakfast so you don’t have to spread eggy jam on your toast. It’s all about the details.
I’m going to write a bad review, I told Anthony,, my lip curled. But I didn’t (except here, I suppose) because it felt mean. I kept thinking that this guest house is struggling. We stayed in a similar place in Britain the last time we were there and were not surprised to find that it was on the market. Beautiful house, divine gardens, appalling service. But I had hopes that a new owner would sort it out. Would my sour and negative rating of this place do anything but make the lovely staff feel downhearted?
I know that business is business but there are definitely times that an extra shot of kindness and patience is required. Which is just what I hope last night’s election result proved. And which my lack of a review amplified.
Are you a rater?
Colin Bisset 
Funny you should ask, Colin. Just got a new car and was subsequently assaulted by multiple demands for ratings. Strangely, not on the engineering marvel that is the vehicle, but rather on the dealership, salespeople, service personnel, even the bloomin’ receptionist/greeter. I have yet to hear from the resident mouser but it’s early days. Due to my seeming tardiness in replying I was cautioned in increasingly demanding reminders that employee’s careers/remuneration, emotional wellbeing, perhaps even current and future progeny could be significantly affected by anything less than a 5-Star rating across the board. I caved of course, only to be contacted weeks later with yet another ratings request, this time from the Teutonic mothership. Granted they were actually interested in my opinion of the car, as evidenced by the almost forensic questionnaire. I am too afraid to respond, sheepishly admitting that I have had to resort multiple times to YouTube for help in negotiating the car’s many advanced technological features, most of which I will never use/need. In my defence, it was either that or remain locked in the car in my garage praying for deliverance.
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Oh yes, that pestering is even worse. Like they’re tapping their toes, waiting, waiting, because if you don’t give a review then the world might possibly implode. Of course, it’s terrible if companies actually do penalise staff for either not getting reviews or getting bad reviews. At least buying a car is a major transaction but I’m with you on the YouTube videos … Unless THEY then start asking you to rate the videos, of course. Good luck with the car!
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I tend to leave ratings after a very positive or extremely poor experience — the ones in the middle often get left aside. Like you, I feel bad about being petty when things are good overall. But I also can’t help but notice details like the dirty blind, or dirty spot on the floor. Lately it’s been the loud pop music in hotel restaurants (lovely setting and service, why ruin it with blasting Adele, ha ha). My husband finds me too negative and picky but I would make an excellent hotel inspector. Our experience is made of the little things. Sleep quality — the blind that doesn’t quite close so you get strips of bright light in your eyes early in the day, or the complete lack of light making an nocturnal bathroom trip feel like an escape room — is what it’s all about in hotels. If the bedding and mattress aren’t right, who cares about the bells and whistles? And I can totally relate to hard chairs ruining the outdoor experience. Comfort first!
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It’s definitely those little things that you let pass at first but when they mount up then you begin to get a bit antsy. And that definitely includes crappy decor and bits’n’pieces that have been scooped up at a $2 shop. But our last trip to Japan also included a quite expensive but very trendy ryokan where everything looked lovely but we had to make up our own beds and we even had to cook our own food. It was less a case of stylish minimalism and more a matter of saving staff costs. I’m with you on the music, too, especially the jaunty toons at breakfast. Fussy? Nous? I like to think discerning is le mot juste…
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As someone whose services you recently engaged and who was going to request a “glowing rating (review)” this coming week, I’m now sweating on the request! 😉 Nevertheless, a nicely written piece.
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Andrew, after your (five) stellar performance, you need have no fear. Thank you and thank you!
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I find the frequent requests to rate the supermarket service a bit silly. Surely the chat and the thankyou when I was there was enough? Must I also write, ‘The apples were packed in my bag with great skill’?!
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Totally agree, Meryl. it’s the same with rating the delivery by the postman, too. Did he perform it with balletic grace or with a bawdy punchline? Maybe they should rate our customer skills into the bargain …
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